---
title: "What to Say When You Have Nothing in Common: 25 Easy Ways to Find Common Ground"
description: "Not sure what to say when you seem to have nothing in common with someone? This practical guide shows how to find common ground, ask better questions, keep conversations moving, and turn awkward networking moments into meaningful connections."
canonical: "https://meetwho.app/blog/what-to-say-when-you-have-nothing-in-common"
language: "en"
published: "2026-08-09T22:35:11.239+00:00"
updated: "2026-08-11T07:19:57.252312+00:00"
reading_time_minutes: "18"
author: "Yağız Gürbüz"
author_url: "https://meetwho.app/author/yagiz-gurbuz"
source: "MeetWho — the networking layer for events and communities"
license: "Quote with attribution and a link to the canonical URL."
---

# What to Say When You Have Nothing in Common: 25 Easy Ways to Find Common Ground

## TL;DR

- Not sure what to say when you seem to have nothing in common with someone? This practical guide shows how to find common ground, ask better questions, keep conversations moving, and turn awkward networking moments into meaningful connections.
- Shared interests are only one possible connection point.
- A useful way to think about common ground is that it can take three different forms.
- The easiest conversation starters usually begin with something already available: your surroundings, the reason you are both there, what the other person is working on, or a detail they have mentioned.
- Situational questions are useful because neither person needs prior knowledge about the other.

## Key questions

**First, You Probably Have More Common Ground Than You Think**

Shared interests are only one possible connection point. This is especially useful when meeting strangers.

**What to Say When You Have Nothing in Common: 25 Conversation Starters?**

The easiest conversation starters usually begin with something already available: your surroundings, the reason you are both there, what the other person is working on, or a detail they have mentioned. You do not need to memorize all 25 questions.

**How to Find Common Ground Without Turning the Conversation Into an Interview?**

Having good questions is useful, but asking one question after another can make even a friendly conversation feel like an interview. The better approach is to treat each answer as material for the next part of the exchange.

**What If You Genuinely Have Nothing in Common?**

Sometimes, after several minutes of talking, you may still find no obvious overlap in hobbies, work, background, or preferences. That does not automatically mean the conversation has failed.

**Finding Common Ground at Networking Events Is Different**

At a networking event, the challenge is not only what to say when you have nothing in common . It often starts one step earlier: deciding who is actually worth approaching in a room full of unfamiliar people.

**How MeetWho Helps Participants Know Who to Meet?**

At larger conferences, community meetups, workshops, online events, and professional gatherings, finding that relevance manually can be difficult. MeetWho is designed around this problem.

## Full article

Title: "What to Say When You Have Nothing in Common | MeetWho"

 Description: "What to say when you have nothing in common: practical conversation starters, common-ground techniques, and networking tips for easier, more meaningful chats."

# What to Say When You Have Nothing in Common: 25 Easy Ways to Find Common Ground

 **What to say when you have nothing in common** often matters less than finding the perfect shared interest and more than knowing how to uncover a useful point of connection. The right question can turn an awkward silence into a conversation about experiences, goals, ideas, challenges, or what each person can learn from the other.

 You don't need identical interests to have a good conversation. Start with the situation you're both in, ask an open-ended question about their experience or perspective, listen for one detail you can explore, and share something small in return. **Finding common ground** is not always about discovering something you already share; sometimes, you create it while talking.

## First, You Probably Have More Common Ground Than You Think

 When two people discover that they work in different industries, enjoy different hobbies, grew up in different places, or simply see the world differently, it is easy to conclude that they have “nothing in common.” But that definition of common ground is much too narrow.

 Shared interests are only one possible connection point. Two people can connect through the event they are attending, a challenge they have both faced, something they are trying to learn, a similar goal, an unexpected experience, or even a topic that neither person knew much about before the conversation began.

 This is especially useful when meeting strangers. Instead of mentally searching for a matching hobby or favorite TV show, look for something that makes the conversation relevant to both of you right now.

### Common Ground Can Be Found, Created, or Borrowed From the Moment

 A useful way to think about common ground is that it can take three different forms.

 **Found common ground** already exists. You may discover that you studied at the same university, work in related fields, support the same team, or recently visited the same place.

 **Created common ground** develops during the conversation. Perhaps one person mentions an unfamiliar project, idea, or hobby and the other becomes genuinely curious. You did not begin with a shared interest, but you now have something worth exploring together.

 **Contextual common ground** comes from the situation you are both in. A conference, workshop, party, queue, community event, shared friend, speaker, location, or activity can provide an easy starting point even when you know nothing else about each other.

 This matters because **finding something in common** does not require you to prove that you and the other person are alike. You only need a conversational thread that gives both of you a reason to continue.

#### You Don't Need to Agree to Connect

 Common ground is also different from agreement. Two people can have different opinions, professions, or experiences and still enjoy learning how the other person thinks.

 Genuine curiosity is often more useful than forced similarity. Instead of pretending to share an interest you do not have, ask what makes that interest meaningful to the other person. A conversation can become engaging because you want to understand their perspective, not because you already share it.

## What to Say When You Have Nothing in Common: 25 Conversation Starters

 The easiest **conversation starters** usually begin with something already available: your surroundings, the reason you are both there, what the other person is working on, or a detail they have mentioned.

 You do not need to memorize all 25 questions. Choose a few that feel natural in your own voice, then use the other person's answer to decide what comes next.

### Start With the Situation You're Both In

 Situational questions are useful because neither person needs prior knowledge about the other. You are simply beginning with an experience you already share.

 
- **“What brought you here today?”** This works at conferences, meetups, workshops, parties, classes, and community events because it gives the other person several possible directions to take the conversation.
- **“How did you hear about this?”** Their answer may reveal a mutual contact, professional interest, organization, community, or reason for attending.
- **“What have you found most interesting so far?”** Instead of asking whether they are enjoying themselves, this encourages a more detailed response that gives you something specific to follow.
- **“Have you been to something like this before?”** This can lead naturally into past experiences, other events, professional interests, travel, or how they became involved in the topic.
- **“What were you hoping to get out of today?”** Particularly useful in professional settings, this question moves beyond small talk and reveals what the person actually wants to learn, achieve, or discover.

### Ask About What They're Working On

 Work-related questions do not have to feel like an interview. Instead of asking for a job title and moving on, invite the person to talk about what currently has their attention.

 
- **“What are you working on at the moment?”** This is broader than “What do you do?” and gives someone room to mention a project, business, research topic, career change, creative pursuit, or personal goal.
- **“What's been taking up most of your attention lately?”** Because the question is not limited to work, the answer might lead somewhere you would never have discovered through standard small talk.
- **“What's the most interesting part of what you do?”** People often describe their work very differently when asked what they find interesting rather than simply being asked for their profession.
- **“Is there anything you're trying to figure out right now?”** This can reveal a challenge, decision, new skill, or project—and sometimes an unexpected way you may be able to relate or help.
- **“What's something you're excited about next?”** Future-focused questions often bring more energy into a conversation and can uncover plans, goals, events, ideas, or experiences worth discussing.

 The goal is not to move rapidly from one prepared question to another. Once an answer gives you an interesting detail, stay with it. That detail is often where the real **common ground** begins.

### Ask for a Perspective Instead of a Biography

 Questions about opinions and perspectives often reveal more than another round of résumé-style small talk. They give the other person room to explain how they think, what they notice, and what matters to them.

 
- **“What did you think about that?”** Use this after a talk, presentation, activity, or shared experience. It is simple, but it invites interpretation rather than a yes-or-no answer.
- **“What's something in your field more people should understand?”** This works especially well when you come from different professions because your lack of shared expertise becomes an advantage: you have a genuine reason to be curious.
- **“Has anything changed your mind recently?”** The answer might involve work, technology, travel, a book, a conversation, or a personal experience. Keep the subject light unless the other person chooses to go deeper.
- **“What trend are you paying attention to?”** At professional events, this can quickly uncover overlapping industries, challenges, technologies, or opportunities without sounding like an interrogation.
- **“What's something you've learned the hard way?”** Use this once the conversation has warmed up. It can lead to a more personal and memorable discussion than basic introductory questions.

### Use Experiences to Discover Unexpected Common Ground

 Experiences are useful because people do not need matching backgrounds to relate to each other. A story about learning something, visiting somewhere, overcoming a challenge, or discovering a new interest often contains several possible conversation hooks.

 
- **“What's something you've done recently that you really enjoyed?”**
- **“What's been the highlight of your week?”**
- **“Have you discovered anything unexpectedly good lately?”**
- **“What's somewhere you'd happily go back to?”**
- **“What have you been learning recently?”**

 Listen beyond the main answer. Someone talking about learning photography might mention travel. Someone describing a recent trip might mention food, remote work, architecture, or a conference. You do not need to share their exact experience to ask an interested follow-up question.

### Ask Questions That Reveal How You Might Help Each Other

 In professional networking, common ground can come from **complementary goals**, not just similarities. Two people may work in entirely different areas yet have a strong reason to talk because one person's knowledge, connections, or perspective is relevant to the other's challenge.

 
- **“What kind of people are you hoping to meet?”**
- **“What's one challenge you're trying to solve?”**
- **“Is there anyone or anything that would make that easier?”**
- **“What could you talk about for ten minutes without preparing?”**
- **“What can people usually come to you for help with?”**

 These questions move networking away from collecting job titles and toward understanding mutual relevance. The best connection may not be someone who is similar to you; it may be someone whose experience, needs, or expertise fits naturally with yours.

## How to Find Common Ground Without Turning the Conversation Into an Interview

 Having good questions is useful, but asking one question after another can make even a friendly conversation feel like an interview. The better approach is to treat each answer as material for the next part of the exchange.

 A simple rhythm is:

 **Ask → Listen → Notice → Follow up → Share**

 Suppose you ask, “What brought you to the conference?” and the other person says they are preparing to launch a startup. Instead of immediately moving to “Where are you from?” or “What do you do for fun?”, stay with what they just gave you.

 You might say, “What made you decide to start it?” Then, after listening, contribute something relevant from your own experience or perspective. A good conversation is an exchange, not a questionnaire.

### Listen for “Conversation Hooks”

 A conversation hook is any specific detail that gives you somewhere natural to go next. Useful hooks often include:

 
- a place they mention;
- a current project;
- a professional challenge;
- something they are learning;
- a person or community they know;
- a goal they are pursuing;
- an unusual experience;
- an opinion they seem interested in explaining.

 The skill is not generating endless new topics. It is recognizing which part of an answer deserves another question.

#### Use Their Exact Detail in Your Follow-Up

 Generic follow-up:

 “What are your hobbies?”

 More natural follow-up after someone mentions climbing:

 “You said you started climbing last year. What got you into it?”

 Using the detail they already offered shows that you were listening and makes the next question feel connected rather than scripted.

##### One Detail Is Enough

 You do not need to uncover five shared interests before a conversation becomes worthwhile. One good detail can lead to several minutes of discussion if both people are curious about it.

 Sometimes that detail becomes a genuine similarity. Other times, the connection comes from learning about something completely unfamiliar. Both can make a conversation meaningful.

## What If You Genuinely Have Nothing in Common?

 Sometimes, after several minutes of talking, you may still find no obvious overlap in hobbies, work, background, or preferences. That does not automatically mean the conversation has failed.

 Instead of trying harder to manufacture similarity, change the goal. You can connect through curiosity, learn something from the other person's experience, or simply have a pleasant conversation without needing it to become a lasting relationship.

### Replace Similarity With Curiosity

 You do not always need shared experience when you have genuine interest in someone else's experience. If a person works in a field you know nothing about, that difference itself can provide a useful question:

 “What made you interested in that field in the first place?”

 The same principle applies outside work. You can be interested in why someone loves a hobby, place, idea, or activity without pretending you love it too.

### Look for Complementarity, Not Similarity

 This is particularly important in networking. A software founder and an event organizer may have different careers but overlapping problems. A marketer and an engineer may approach the same product from opposite sides. Someone entering a new market may benefit from meeting a person who understands it deeply.

 In these situations, **finding common ground** means identifying a credible reason the conversation could matter to both people.

### Know When Not to Force the Conversation

 Not every interaction needs to become a meaningful connection. If you have tried a few natural directions and the conversation still feels one-sided, ending it politely is often better than forcing another topic.

 You can simply say:

 “Really good to meet you. I'm going to grab a drink and say hello to a few other people, but I enjoyed hearing about your work.”

 A graceful exit leaves both people comfortable—and gives you space to find the next conversation that has somewhere to go.

## Finding Common Ground at Networking Events Is Different

 At a networking event, the challenge is not only **what to say when you have nothing in common**. It often starts one step earlier: deciding who is actually worth approaching in a room full of unfamiliar people.

 That changes the role of common ground. In everyday conversation, a shared hobby or experience may be enough to keep things moving. In professional networking, the stronger connection may come from compatible goals, complementary expertise, a problem one person can help solve, or a perspective the other person wants to understand.

### Start With Relevance Before You Start With Small Talk

 A useful networking conversation usually has some reason to exist beyond being polite. That reason does not have to be complicated.

 You might both be:

 
- exploring the same industry;
- solving different parts of a similar problem;
- looking for the same type of partner or customer;
- interested in the same market;
- working with complementary technologies;
- trying to meet people with a particular kind of expertise;
- able to help each other in different ways.

 This is why professional common ground is often broader than similarity. Two people with nearly identical backgrounds may have little to offer each other, while two people from completely different fields may discover a highly relevant reason to talk.

 A better networking question is therefore not always, “What do we have in common?” It can be, “Why might this conversation be useful to both of us?”

### How MeetWho Helps Participants Know Who to Meet

 At larger conferences, community meetups, workshops, online events, and professional gatherings, finding that relevance manually can be difficult. MeetWho is designed around this problem.

 Participants can create professional profiles that explain what they are working on, what they are looking for, whom they want to meet, and the areas in which they may be able to help others. Subject to the event's networking settings and each participant's consent, MeetWho analyzes those signals alongside event goals and shared interests to suggest relevant people.

 Rather than treating networking as access to a public attendee directory, the platform focuses on selected recommendations. A recommendation can explain why two people may benefit from meeting, how they could potentially help each other, and how the conversation might begin.

 That distinction matters. Useful event networking is not about seeing as many names as possible. It is about reducing the distance between “There are hundreds of people here” and “Here is someone I may have a meaningful reason to talk to.”

#### From “What Should I Say?” to “Why Should We Talk?”

 The easiest networking conversation often begins before the first sentence: when both people already have a plausible reason to speak.

 If you know that someone is working on a challenge related to your experience, looking for expertise you have, or exploring a topic you also care about, the opening question becomes much more specific.

 Instead of:

 “So, what do you do?”

 You might ask:

 “You mentioned you're expanding into a new market. What's been the hardest part so far?”

 Or:

 “I saw that you're interested in meeting people working on community growth. What are you trying to improve right now?”

 This is also where personalized conversation starters can be useful. MeetWho's approach is built around helping participants understand **who to meet, why the connection may matter, and how to start the conversation**, while keeping organizer settings and participant privacy in control.

## What Not to Say When You're Struggling to Connect

 Knowing what to avoid can be just as helpful as having a list of good questions. Most awkward conversations become more uncomfortable when one person announces the awkwardness, fires off unrelated questions, or tries to force a connection that is not there.

 Avoid Try instead 
 “We have absolutely nothing in common.” “I'm curious—how did you get into that?” 
 “So… what else?” “You mentioned X earlier. What happened next?” 
 Asking question after question Pause and share something relevant yourself 
 Pretending to like the same thing Ask what they enjoy about it 
 Immediately asking for a favor Understand their goals first 
 Forcing a controversial topic Choose curiosity without creating unnecessary conflict 
 

### Don't Fake Common Ground

 Pretending to share an interest may keep a conversation alive for another minute, but it usually makes the interaction less genuine. You do not need to say “I love that too” when you do not.

 A more natural response is:

 “I've never really explored that. What do you like most about it?”

 Curiosity gives the other person room to explain something they care about while allowing you to remain honest.

### Don't Confuse Networking With Extracting Value

 Professional networking can become uncomfortable when every conversation is treated as a transaction. Approaching someone with the immediate question, “What can this person do for me?” encourages shallow interactions and premature requests.

 A better question is:

 **“Is there a useful reason for us to know each other?”**

 That reason might involve shared knowledge, complementary expertise, an introduction, future collaboration, or simply learning from each other's perspective. Sometimes there will be no obvious next step, and that is fine too.

## A Simple Common-Ground Formula You Can Remember

 When your mind goes blank, a repeatable process is more useful than memorizing dozens of lines. MeetWho's practical **C.O.N.N.E.C.T. framework** provides a simple way to move from an awkward opening to a more natural exchange.

 **C — Context:** Begin with the situation you already share.

 **O — Open:** Ask an open-ended question that cannot be answered with only yes or no.

 **N — Notice:** Listen for one specific detail that sounds interesting or important.

 **N — Narrow:** Stay with that detail instead of immediately changing subjects.

 **E — Exchange:** Add something relevant about your own experience, perspective, or curiosity.

 **C — Connect:** Identify a shared interest, experience, goal, challenge, or complementary reason to keep talking.

 **T — Transition:** Continue the conversation naturally, introduce another relevant topic, or end the interaction gracefully.

 The framework works because it removes the pressure to instantly discover a perfect shared interest. **Common ground** becomes something you build through attention and exchange, rather than something you either have or do not have from the start.

## Quick Checklist: What to Do When You Have Nothing to Talk About

 When a conversation stalls, you do not need a clever line. Use the shared context, listen for one specific detail, and give the other person something to respond to in return.

 Situation What to say Why it works 
 Meeting someone new “What brought you here?” Starts with shared context 
 Networking event “What kind of people are you hoping to meet?” Reveals goals 
 Conference “Which session has been most useful so far?” Creates an immediate topic 
 Different profession “What's something people misunderstand about your work?” Invites perspective 
 Conversation stalls “You mentioned X earlier—how did you get into that?” Returns to an existing hook 
 No shared hobbies “What have you been learning lately?” Opens new conversational territory 
 Potential professional connection “What are you trying to solve right now?” Reveals possible complementarity 
 

### Before the Conversation

 
- Notice the context you already share.
- Keep two broad, open-ended questions in mind.
- Stop assuming common ground means identical interests.
- Consider what you are genuinely curious to learn.

### During the Conversation

 
- Ask one open-ended question.
- Listen for a specific detail instead of planning your next question.
- Follow that detail when it has potential.
- Share something relevant about yourself.
- Explore experiences, goals, perspectives, or challenges.
- Look for complementary interests as well as similarities.

### If the Conversation Still Stalls

 
- Try changing direction once rather than forcing the same topic.
- Bring another person into the conversation when it makes sense.
- End the interaction politely if neither person has much more to add.

### At a Professional Event

 
- Think about why a conversation could matter to both people.
- Look beyond matching job titles or industries.
- Remember useful context for a later follow-up.
- Follow up while the reason you connected is still clear.

## Final Takeaway: You Don't Need to Have Everything in Common

 The best answer to **what to say when you have nothing in common** is not to search desperately for a matching hobby. Start with the situation, ask about an experience or perspective, listen carefully, and follow the details that create genuine curiosity.

 Sometimes you will discover a similarity. Sometimes you will find that your goals or skills complement each other. And sometimes you will simply learn something interesting from a person whose life looks very different from yours. All three can make a conversation worthwhile.

 At professional events, the challenge can begin even earlier: knowing which people may actually be relevant to meet. MeetWho is built around that problem, helping consenting participants understand who may be worth meeting, why the connection could be useful to both sides, and how the conversation might begin.

 **Don't just meet more people. Know who to meet.**

 If you organize events, you can [explore MeetWho](https://meetwho.app/) to create an event for free, manage participants, and support more meaningful, privacy-aware networking.

## Frequently Asked Questions

### What do you say when you have nothing in common with someone?

 Start with something you already share, such as the place, event, activity, or situation. Ask an open-ended question like “What brought you here?” or “What have you found interesting so far?” Then listen for one detail worth exploring. You do not need an identical interest to **find common ground**.

### How do you find common ground with someone?

 Look beyond hobbies and background. Common ground can come from a shared experience, similar goal, problem, perspective, current situation, or complementary expertise. Ask questions that reveal what matters to the other person, then explore whichever detail creates genuine interest for both of you.

### What should I ask when I have nothing to talk about?

 Ask a question connected to something already happening or already mentioned. “What are you working on right now?”, “What have you been learning lately?”, and “You mentioned X—how did you get into that?” usually give the other person more room to respond than yes-or-no questions.

### How do you avoid awkward silence?

 A brief pause does not automatically mean a conversation has failed. If you want to continue, return to an earlier detail, ask about the current situation, or share something yourself. Conversation works better as an exchange than as a continuous series of questions.

### Can you be friends with someone you have nothing in common with?

 Yes, people do not need identical hobbies or backgrounds to form a relationship. Connection can also grow through shared values, mutual respect, curiosity, experiences developed together, or complementary personalities. What matters is whether both people enjoy and value the interaction.

### How do you talk to strangers at a networking event?

 Begin with context and purpose rather than immediately asking for a job title. Questions such as “What brought you to this event?” or “What kind of people are you hoping to meet?” can reveal goals and interests that lead to a more relevant professional conversation.

### How do I know who to talk to at a networking event?

 Look for people whose goals, challenges, interests, or expertise create a credible reason for you to speak. The most relevant person may not have the same background as you. Tools such as MeetWho can help consenting participants identify potentially useful connections based on event context, professional goals, shared interests, and ways they may be able to help one another.

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